Something really big happened last night. I rocked my baby girl to sleep after giving her a bottle, like I always do. I leaned in to get the latest dose of sweet baby smell and there it was…my baby had lost that powdery scent that makes moms swoon. I know what you’re probably thinking. No big deal right? Wrong.
I promised myself before Harper was born that I’d remember all her “lasts.” I’d read a post that emphasized the importance of being in each moment. It explained how parenthood slips away so quickly and our children evolve into independent adults in the blink of an eye. My biggest fear was letting all our “last moments” pass unnoticed but yesterday it became evident that despite my best efforts, I too, had fallen victim to time.
I can’t remember the last time I smelled that baby smell but I assume it lays somewhere in the chaos of the last few months. My husband has been on the night shift for the better part of two months and his long hours leave me home to take care of everyone and everything. Don’t get me wrong, we are lucky, but I’d be lying if I said that a lifestyle like this doesn’t wear on a family. Surely, we aren’t the only ones or even the only profession that faces such problems. The issue is no one ever talks about it. So I am here to admit that I got lost. I got lost in the to-do lists, and the mindlessness that we use as a mechanism to get us by.
The good news is that because I set out with the mission of cherishing our moments together I do remember a lot of really special memories, vividly. The lesson all revolves around something a boss of mine once said to me. She told me the secret to success was to “be here, now” meaning that wherever you are or whatever you’re doing be all there. So how does this translate you ask? A few days a week I would leave my phone out of the room while I nursed Harper and I’d just spend that time with her. I spend a little less time multi tasking and more time watching her explore the house and showing her new things. You know how they say you should put your baby in their crib awake to help them adjust to falling asleep alone? I don’t! I rock little Harper in my arms and she snuggles up to me for a few minutes before I set her down.
To all my fellow moms out there, we all get lost once in a while, we all are just trying to get by. I’m sure this isn’t the only memory that will slip by but I live with less regret if I check in with myself every once in a while. Being here, now helps me and maybe it can help you too.
your tired mom friend,